


A Short History on the Loves of John Egbert

by cinnamonsnaps



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-19
Updated: 2013-05-19
Packaged: 2017-12-12 08:30:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/809477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnamonsnaps/pseuds/cinnamonsnaps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Your name is John and you are in no way a homosexual, like no way nada nope niet nai. You are 13.6 years old and therefore you are <i>completely sure about this,</i> because you kissed a girl and you liked it. "</p>
<p>a.k.a, John is completely oblivious to everything until he isn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Short History on the Loves of John Egbert

Your name is John and you are in no way a homosexual, like no way nada nope niet nai. You are 13.6 years old and therefore you are _completely sure about this,_ because you kissed a girl and you liked it.   
You don't think she liked it though, which is a shame because you like Rose.  
You like her a lot.  
In fact you are completely in love with her.  
You are 13.6 years old and you are completely certain of everything.

You are 14 years old and a week and you're sleeping at your best friends house, and you're talking about this cool girl you met at the park the other day who liked your t-shirt and maybe possibly you'd like to see her again so you swapped handles.   
"Also she's called Vriska, isn't that a weird name Dave? I think it might be Polish."  
Your best friend, ie one apparent coolkid Dave Strider, is rolling his eyes and making yakkity-yak motions with his hand. He isn't so cool though.  
"You've never even had a girlfriend!" you tease him.  
He evades the point, changing the subject, and you laugh because you've bested him at his own game.  
You are 14 years old and a week and you feel the most mature you've ever felt, even though you're not sure if you like Rose or Vriska better.

You are 14 and a half years old and suddenly you feel very very stupid.  
Rose tells you all that she prefers her own gender, and always has, and sorry John.   
You shrug because no big deal right? Anyway, Vriska invited you to the movies and "I think she really likes me, also I think her best friend has a crush on Dave and maybe Dave should go for it?"  
He shrugs noncommittedly and you laugh, so aloof Dave, is she not good enough for you?  
Rose gives you a look that says "Drop it." but you think Dave is being a bit of an asshole. Is it because she's blind? Because she colours her hair badly with cheap red dye? C'mon, what's your problem Dave?  
He looks furious, Rose looks furious, everyone looks furious and he storms out and doesn't contact you for days.  
You are 14 and a half years old and did you say something wrong?

You are roughly 15 and life is pretty sweet right now.  
Your girlfriend just taught you how to make out without cutting the other persons tongue with your braces, and you gave her a spider necklace and she really loves it! She says its better than anything her dumb exbestfriend Terezi got her.  
You still wonder why Terezi and Dave haven't hooked up yet because they spend a lot of time together. A lot of time! In fact, you're worried he might be abandoning you. Not cool, bro.  
Oh, and Rose is in a secret relationship with her French exchange student. You try not to be sad about it but it's not difficult when Kanaya is such a lovely girl. You think you'd probably have a small crush on her if you weren't going out with Vriska.  
You are roughly 15 and you guess this makes you practically an adult, having an actual girlfriend.

You're 16 and you feel 6.  
Vriska is sobbing down the phone to you about her mom trying to sell her virginity and you kind of want to phone the police but what if they take her away?  
You're terrified right now and you can hear ugly banging noises crackling through the telephone static so you tell her to run away and you'll pick her up and you'll rescue her, you promise and then the line goes dead and you are scared shitless.  
You hysterically yell at your Dad to get in the car and become even more hysterical when he tries to get you to calm down.  
Your life is a living hell and you feel useless and the thought of Vriska being hurt or raped causes a twisting sickening jerk right in your stomach and you nearly vomit on his shoes before he calmly picks up the phone and calls the police.  
That isn't what you wanted. They're going to take her away.  
You could have rescued her.  
You're 16 and you are hopeless, useless, furious and oh so scared.

You are 16 years, 5 months and 21 days old and you are still giving statements to the police.  
Statements about Ms. Serket's lovers, boyfriends, what was her behaviour towards you like when you went over to visit Vriska?  
And all the while Vriska stays silent and doesn't contact you and nobody will tell you what's going on, but you've seen her, she isn't dead you don't believe it. You're fucking 16 and you are sick of the bullshit everyone keeps feeding you.  
Rose speaks to you every night and tried to help you feel better and sometimes it works. Dave speaks to you too, and you guess you really appreciate how he looks out for you.  
He's always been there, kind of.  
The news comes that Vriska is being moved to a new area to protect her, with a new foster family, and a new life. You want to cry and cry.  
She contacts you once, twice, a few times, but they become sparse.  
Eventually, you accept she's gone.  
You're fucking 16, and you feel like you're 36.

You are 17 and jesus, this new college is hard.  
You're studying for your big exams and it helps that Dave is trying to make you feel better with his jokes and his jams, but what you really want is a girl with long hair and one eye laughing at you and smiling with you and -  
He tells you there's a party at his friends house and you should go.  
You are 17 and fuck school, at least for a weekend.

You are a hormonal teenager and you might be panicking slightly because you're making out with a guy??  
But you're not gay! You're incredibly drunk and a little manic but one thing you aren't is gay!   
But then Karkat had pulled you to one side and just given you this drunken exasperated look and then pressed his lips to yours, and you really weren't sure how to say no so you didn't and you kind of don't regret it?  
Especially when he does that tongue thing holy shit   
You're drunk and lonely and you lose coherent thoughts for a while.

You're kind of 17 and a bit and heh, it's your two week secret dating anniversary with Karkat today.  
You're not particularly ready to go around telling people, even though Karkat is great. He talks great and hugs great and kisses great, secretly. Everything's great.  
Except there's your whole issue of what you are, because you guess you kind of are a little bit homosexual after all. Nobody knows except Karkat though, and he looks a little moodier than usual when you have to start bluffing about what you guys were doing last Saturday, hah Rose we were watching a movie, that's what bros do.  
Dave asked you to go see a movie with him recently and you think you're gonna bring Karkat because you're all three best friends right?  
You're in a movie theatre and shh, you can't tell anyone the truth.

You've just come out of your core maths exam (failed it) and Karkat's textyelling at you and Dave is being all moody and suspicious and jesus, secret dating is hard. Rose keeps throwing words like heteromantic and pansexuality at you and you don't know if she knows, but she probably knows you don't know she knows. Or maybe she knows you know she knows - aaargh why is this so confusing!  
Your boyfriend (shhh) is still mad because you wouldn't hold his hand during the movie, but what if someone saw?   
He's always mad at you though so.  
But Dave catching you being all sappy and stuff with your boyfriend (seriously, shhh)? There's no way that can happen! You'd never live it down!!  
You're going into your biology exam and christ, you're still being textyelled at.

It's the last day of this term before holidays for eight weeks, and you're ecstatic.  
You're ecstatic until Karkat pulls you aside and says he can't do this anymore.  
You've been kind of a dickwad.  
You've been kind of homophobic, too.  
Maybe it's best he doesn't see you over the summer.  
He gives you a quick kiss on the cheek - smiling dryly at how it's only at the end you let him do this - before slipping away in the jubilant endterm crowd.  
You don't really know how to feel. It's the beginning of the holidays, and it looks like they're gonna be incredibly long.

You're one week, two days and eleven hours into your holidays and you're at a loss.  
Everyone is busy.  
Karkat, understandably, hasn't contacted you hangingoutwise, which sucks. Jade and Rose are on holiday in far off places.   
You think idly about a one eyed pirate girl before making yourself breakfast.  
One week, two days, eleven hours and seventeen minutes down.  
Until Dave pesters you.

You're no longer bored, and this past fortnight has flown by! You forgot how great it was to hang out with Dave.  
It feels like you haven't really seen him for three years.  
He gives you a smirk and you raise him an eyebrow, and it feels so good to be back together again. Why did you ever stop being such great friends?  
You've slept over, you've gone to a club (which ended oh so hilariously passed out in a gutter), you've watched and rewatched your favourite movies, and then Dave's favourite movies because apparently they're better (lies).  
And it's nice, because you forgot how much you feel like you can trust him.  
You forgot how well you get on, and how well you antagonise each other, and how charming and hilarious he is.  
You make a pillow fort together and lie under it like the mature students you are, and of course you rake each other for secrets and gossip. It's not just girls who gossip, honestly, even if you do go about it a rather different manner.  
Under duress of a headlock, Dave tells you he used to like someone.  
Under chinese burn, you reveal you recently secretly dated someone.  
You both ask if it was a guy at the same time.

You're under the weight of Dave's unshaded red eyes and he's about to tell you...  
He's about to tell you he went out with Karkat, for a little while. Dumped him just before the party.  
He's about to tell you he's gay.   
He's about to look you in the eye and pretend this isn't hard, just admitting these things to you. Things he's kept hidden since you were 13.6, and before.  
To say you're surprised is an understatement.  
You tell him you dated Karkat. Recently. Not at the same time, obviously.  
He looks like you just punched him in the gut.  
You're pretty sure he's not telling you everything, but the pillow fort collapses and feelings talk time is over.

You're infinitely sad, because it's the last weekend of the holidays.  
You pestered Rose yesterday with your new information, and she said she knew. You weren't surprised.  
You ask her... you ask her if he loved him.  
Dave and Karkat, you mean.   
You feel something dark stir in your gut and you realise it's jealousy, but for who, you're not sure.  
She's surprised you don't know. She thought it was obvious who Dave felt for the most. All this time, since they've all known each other, for god knows how many years.  
Who?  
She simply pastes a few lines of chatlog, a window into their past conversations, the full context lost apart from who it pertains to.  
TG: because  
TG: i love him  
TT: I know.

You're ready. It only takes one message from you, and he spills it out in a red river of pixels and innards, defenses popping angrily, helplessly, like the skin of a balloon.  
i never liked girls in fact i was pretty sure  
you were right there you saw these things happen you never knew  
john egbert i was in love with you   
i still love you  
You don't know what happens next.

You're 17.6 and it's funny, really, how much things change when you don't know who you are.  
It's not like Hollywood, the way he greets you like usual.  
It's not like a movie when you roll your eyes and start to apologise.  
There are no shining glimmering lights, no cadenza of strings no smoke effects no snow no cameras rolling when you atone.  
You kiss him. The cameras roll on in your head.  
Things continue to change.

You're John Egbert and you're older, and it's great. Everything's s great.  
You're completely in love and you don't know how it happened, and this time, more than any other time in your life, you are completely 100% certain you will marry this man. His name is Dave Strider and he loves you.  
You've had rough patches, fights, moments like any other couple. But you'd never swap with any other couple.  
You're completely certain.


End file.
